In a testament to life is about the yin and the yang, no good deed goes unpunished and other such clichés, on my return trip from a meeting downtown, life decided to play a funny trick on me, because you know, life is really
a bitch funny that way
In the meeting, I’d learned that my vote into the board of directors for archi-treasures was final, official and in the affirmative, and so, in my excitement I decided to share with my Facebook friends and network. A few stops into my ride in walks a man who was either homeless or very drunk (maybe both) and sat next to me.I thought to myself, “This isn’t going to end well.” Truthfully, the worst I imagined was that he was going to fall asleep and I’d have to start maneuvering my way out of the seat a few stops earlier than I normally would, having to wake him and all.
A few stops passed and from the corner of my eyes I saw a woman pointing in my direction. I removed my headphones barely in time to hear her yell, “Watch out, he’s throwing up and he’s about to throw up on….” and before I could jump up on my seat, there it was, seeping through my jeans right to my knee…
Thankfully, it was barely enough to be a visible spot on my jeans, probably because I jumped up to stand on my seat, then over it to the seat behind me, and then to the floor in a matter of seconds. I’m sure it was on YouTube within 5 seconds, so search for it using terms such as drunk barfing guy vs. ninja in fuschia zipped hoodie on CTA blue line, or something like that.
If having a stranger’s barf on me is the new pigeon poop, then I’ve been in for years. This isn’t my first barf incident. A few years ago, dressed in my former work best, I walked into the suite where my office was located and immediately slipped and fell on what I learned was someone’s barf. I ran to the bathroom to clean myself, only to do the same as the very kind stranger had taken their stick to the restroom, but hadn’t made it to a stall.
As far as pigeons go, oh… I was targeted on a New York City street while waiting for a friend.
If it’s luck we’re talking about, I am overdue.
Hey Universe, I’m waiting…